Life is a continuous cycle of once-terrifying events becoming normal. Young-Ha Kim
Anger is a part of everyday life. Anger is observable in the young as well as the old. If you are in a crowded parking lot, someone will be angry. If you sit in the stands of a baseball game, someone will be red-faced and raise their voice. We don’t need to be ashamed of expressing anger or feel guilty that we have feelings of anger. Anger is normal most of the time.
Anger is dangerous when it can’t be controlled, and it’s doubly dangerous when we accept anger that hurts as normal. We can learn to start overcoming anger to ensure we don’t hurt ourselves or others.
If you have a short fuse, here are a few simple and pragmatic things you can do if you feel anger rising up.
1) Count backward – This takes concentration and will give your heart time to slow down. When your heart slows down, your anger will lessen.
2) Breathe deeply – Just like counting backward, deep breathing gives your heart a chance to slow down and your anger to subside.
3) Do some light exercise – A walk, stretches, or shooting hoops are easy ways to reset and reduce your anger.
4) Listen to your favorite music – Music is a great distractor. If the music has lyrics, your brain will refocus on a different topic.
5) Repeat a preselected phrase or sentence – This is one way to change your mind about what you believe about yourself or events that trigger you.
All of these strategies are easy to practice once the decision has been made, “I’m tired of my anger controlling me.” Even if you have struggled with anger issues, uncontrolled anger is not a life sentence. You can change your mind, which will then change your brain.
If you need help managing anger, you can enroll in Overcoming Anger, an independent online course, created and taught by Dr. Baker.
